Hold On
by slayya
Summary: My interpretation of when Sarah tried to commit suicide. Also, set to 'Hold On' by Good Charlotte. Please R & R


Hold On

_This world, this world is cold_

She couldn't take it anymore, having to cope with it all, being without her mum and then with Lucy, Mandy and all of them, telling her that she was to blame for her mum's death was the last straw.

"I'll clear up." She said smiling slightly at her dad, who just nodded and went into his room; well it was his now it used to be both of theirs. She felt the tears sting at her eyes at the thought.

_  
But you don't, you don't have to go_

She cleared the plates and put them in the kitchen as she busied herself around the kitchen, washing and drying up, wiping the surfaces etc. She paused at one of the surfaces to wipe it and as she looked up, something glinted and caught her eye. The large kitchen knife that she'd used to make the dinner. She reached out towards it, her hand grasping the handle, slowly, but then decided against it and put it back on the rack. She walked out of the kitchen as fast as she could, before it tempted her back again.

_  
You're feeling sad you're feeling lonely  
And no-one seems to care_

She ran into her bedroom and slammed the door and winced as she did so, she knew that would have alerted her father. He'd been getting himself drunk every night and she had to be careful to stay out of his way and not to aggravate him or he might...

_  
You're mother's gone_

'Oh God.' She thought as she heard his drunken footsteps coming along the corridor, she leant against the door and prayed he would go past. He did and on to the bathroom next door. She breathed a sigh of relief. She walked over to her dresser and picked up a photo of her mother, standing among some trees and plants, everyone used to say she looked like her and now no-one would even dare breathe her name. How was that remembering her?

She heard her father exit the bathroom. He walked up and banged on the door.

_And your father hits you_

"Get out here, you little bitch!" Sarah's breath caught in her throat as she opened the door and he stumbled into the room. "What's with all this noise your making!" He slurred.

"I...I..."

"You What? Well I suppose you were always stupid, your mother always used to stick up for you, but she's not here anymore." And with those words he slapped Sarah hard, across the face, knocking her to the ground. Then he left.

_  
This pain you cannot bare  
_

She ran out of her room and into the kitchen, where she grabbed the knife and ran back to her room, and slammed the door as hard as she could and locked it. Then she ran into her on suite bathroom.

_  
But we all bleed the same way as you do_

_We all have the same things to go through_

The knife glinted as she pressed the point into the top of her left wrist, a bubble of blood appeared on the surface of her skin.

_  
Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know  
_

She paused, thinking to shout for help. Then she heard her father's angry cries and him bashing at the door.

_  
Your days you say they're way too long_

Her school days were hell. Mandy, Lucy and all the others would tease her and say she was to blame for her mother's death; surely she wasn't, was she?

_  
And your nights you can't sleep at all (hold on)_

And her nights she just cried herself to sleep. Cried for her mother, cried for her father.

_  
And you're not sure what you're looking for  
But you don't want to no more_

She couldn't deal with this anymore, she couldn't go on. She was sure this was the only option. She couldn't cope with her dad and the bullies and the grieving, especially the bullies. And as much as she hated to admit it, she was starting to believe what they were saying.

_  
And you're not sure what you're waiting for but you don't want to no more  
_

At least this way it would be over. She would be able to join her mother in heaven. Her mother never used to call it that; she used to call it Mano. She had no idea what is meant and at this point didn't care as the blood slipped down her arm to form drips and the end of her fingers and finally plummet to earth.

_  
But we all bleed the same way as you do_

She watched those droplets and began to wonder, 'Is that all that's there?'

_  
And we all have the same things to go through_

She wondered what her dad must be going through, was it the same as her or worse?

Hold on...if you feel like letting go

"Sarah! Open this door now!" Her father screamed. She felt a tear slip down her pale cheek.

_  
Hold on...it gets better than you know_

Sarah picked up her glass on the sink and filled it slowly with water, ignoring the water in the bowl being stained pink from her own blood.

Don't stop looking you're one step closer  
Don't stop searching it's not over...hold on

"SARAH!" Sarah was crying fully now and could do nothing but watch and sob.

_  
What are you looking for?  
What are you waiting for?_

Sarah held the glass in her hands, staring down into it, looking for something, anything.

_  
Do you know what you're doing to me?_

Her father continued his screaming and bashing and Sarah didn't know what to do. She was dying and she had to admit, she knew that it was partly his fault.

_  
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?_

Sarah slowly rose the cup to her now parched lips and took a sip of water.

Hold on...if you feel like letting go  
Hold on...it gets better than you know

She looked down into the water and noticed the mass amounts of blood on the sides of the cup were reflecting making the water look pink.

_  
Don't stop looking you're one step closer  
Don't stop searching it's not over..._

_  
_It was then she realised she didn't want this. She didn't want to die. "No..." She whispered.

_  
Hold on...if you feel like letting go_

The cup fell from her hands, smashing on the bathroom floor.

_  
Hold on...it gets better than you know...hold on_

She screamed and then she heard the banging stop and she fell backwards and felt a pair of arms catch her as she fell.

**Hey guys...hope you liked it. Please R & R for me. Thanks Slayya**


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